When you first start dating a guy, you can’t wait for the day when you: a. meet his mother; b. get a ring on your finger; c. move in together; or d. first sleep with him. If you chose answers a, b, or c you can now minus 3 points, and pay close attention. Bad sex is a major deal breaker in a relationship and if it wasn’t a deal breaker for you before, maybe it should be now. Ever encountered a female friend who is always bitching, angry, unhappy, and always find her minding your business? Well she’s not having good sex (hell, she might not be having any sex.) When your man “lays it down” right at night…in the morning…at lunch time…on the floor…from the side (well, I’m sure you get my point by now), you have almost no other cares in the world. If you weren’t the submissive type before, good sex will have you tied by the ankles, cooking breakfast in the morning and getting children ready for school that aren’t even your children. So, you don’t know whether you’ve had bad sex or not? Well, if the frown in the mirror hasn’t convinced you, maybe these examples will prove it to you.
He never wanted to give you seconds or thirds…
For some of us women, the first round is so good you want to relive it again and again. While that may be what you have in mind, laying next to you is a man who is either lazy, selfish, or basking in his ‘wackness’, and leaving you hanging. If you are in your twenties like I am, we only have a good 20-30 more years of young and still flexible sex left, and who needs a man who can’t provide that to you. I’d hate to compare his sex life to his life’s potential, but let’s face it you have/had an underachieving, unmotivated man on your hands.
He was a One Trick Pony
This man likes to start off sex the same way every time. He kisses you on your lips, sucks on the same right breast, opts for the missionary position, and then a little bit of doggy before he ultimately collapses. Yawn. Sure, you can try to teach the pony new tricks, but he’ll try them and suck at them, because he’s a one trick pony.
You weren’t sexually attracted to him
If you are dripping with excite when it comes to sexing your man, then he is a keeper. Sometimes you can love a man, but not be sexually attracted to him. So you would have sex with him and maybe even enjoy it sometimes, but you’re not knocking down his door for more. In this relationship sex functions as breakfast, because they tell you it’s the most important meal of the day, you eat a cereal bar and keep it moving. When you are sexually attracted to your man, you’re waiting all day for dinner because you want some dessert.
He had “Jimmy” problems
Now these problems can range anywhere between, his ‘little man is a little man’ to never being able to rise to the occasion. Having problems with the penis can strain any relationship. It is a very delicate situation, so hurting his feelings isn’t the intention, but you don’t have to continue with the relationship if you don’t want. Also, in some cases, men who have penis problems either don’t know they have a problem or they are in deep denial of the problem. You will hear excuses like “this doesn’t usually happen” or “maybe you’ve been with too many men”, anything to deflect from the disappointment that’s happening in his pants. I think it’s time to give him the “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation, because he can’t handle it or you for that matter.
He was holding out
The man who holds out is an interesting beast. Like me, you’d assume that all men want to have sex at every opportunity, but there is always the exception. In my opinion there are mainly two occasions where a man refrains from having sex with you: he’s stressed or he’s cheating. If he holds out for a long period of time, you can eliminate the stressed excuse. Now ladies, don’t go around accusing him of cheating, talk to him about your needs and find out what’s preventing him from ‘giving it up.’ If none of what he explained makes any rational sense, he’s cheating in some way or fashion.
While, yes, sex isn’t the most important part of a relationship, it is a front runner. Sex is one of the most intimate ways to connect to your man. Therefore, when the sex is good, the connection is stronger. When the sex is bad, your man ultimately becomes your ex.