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5 Signs He May Have a Small ‘One’

By Tammy Oh | Girl, Plz, Just 4 Laughs

Ever wondered what could be worse than getting a root canal? Well, how about waiting months upon months to have sex with a guy and you find out he has a small ding dong. Imagine starving for food and you look in the refrigerator, only to find there is nothing to munch on. The discovery of a small penis will have you crying in the corner reflecting on your past…your future… your hopes and dreams. I would say that all women have about four basic wants in a prospective boyfriend: nice job, nice looking, nice car, and nice penis. However, we all know a big penis trumps about two or three of those wants on our list. No, every man can’t have the “king of the jungle” waiting for you in his pants, but you must admit there is a part of you hoping to find one every time. Dealing with a guy with a small one is very sensitive territory and you don’t want to risk the chance of hurting his feelings. Trust me, you are not the first one to discover his “thing” is tiny. He knows, his ex-girlfriends know, and now, you know. Don’t make him feel like a spectacle. If you don’t discover his little friend until you are in the heat of the moment, it‘s too late for you, but for the rest of us there may actually be signs that reveal his “shortcomings” before needing to reach out to the SWAT (Small Weiner Avoidance Team.)  At the very least, its nice to be able to prepare yourself for the possibility (big or small.) Hey guys this is just for  laughs. We all can be loved and desired by someone.

He is the “Relationship Guy”

In some cases, guys with small penises use relationships as crutches. They think that maybe if they are a really, really good boyfriend it will distract from his absentee penis. They take you on shopping sprees, cook you dinner every night, rub your feet and wash your clothes, all in the hopes that he will keep you around. However, he is deemed the “relationship guy” because he is always bouncing from relationship to relationship. Why? Well, let’s be honest. Think about the guy that you just can’t seem to get over. He was good in bed, wasn’t he? Exactly. The guy who is genitally challenged finds it hard to keep the women around.

All of His Exes Cheated on Him

Women cheat for one reason: she feels neglected. Either she feels neglected emotionally or sexually, and sometimes if the sex is good enough, the emotional factor can be omitted. After talking to a new suitor and you realize that all of his stories about his exes involve being cheating on, you may just be talking to a “Small Dick Tracy.” You’ll know if he has a really small ‘wang‘, if not only did she cheat on him, but with his best friend! Whether that is true or not, if all his exes cheated on him in the past, that definitely poses as a red flag.

He doesn’t Press You For Sex

Ever thought the man you were dating was such a gentleman, because he never dared ask you for sex? However, after a few months of being a gentleman, you were dying and pleading for him to ravage you like a beastly man. The small dick man has no problem withholding from sex, and can be famously quoted for saying “A gentleman never asks.” Even, when you are in a relationship with him and you’ve already seen what he has to offer, he still might hold back. Some guys are too embarrassed to whip it out and continuously feel inadequate. Hey, if you are a still around, try to make him feel more at ease, which will require you to initiate every time.

He’s the Bitch in the Relationship

As a rule of thumb, I’d say the smaller the penis, the bigger the emotions. Commonly, a man’s penis is so small, he starts to grow a vagina. Not really but, he’s fights so hard to maintain his manhood, his emotions start to fluctuate  and become irrational like he is on his period. Needless to say, the more unsatisfied you feel in the bedroom, you, the woman, has now become the man. You find yourself setting the rules, being the boss, and being insensitive to his feelings. Again no one pays me to make these assumptions, but I believe the bigger the penis the stronger the control on the household. However, when there are no penises present, the woman naturally takes the lead.

He’s a Oral Overachiever

Cutting straight to the point, men who aren’t well endowed in the pants, tend to be great at head. For example, people who have lost their eye sight, tend to have superb auditory skills. Well, the same goes for these types of guys. At times, all he may want to do is orally satisfy you, and then he is done, which is definitely a warning sign when first dating a guy. So, if in the first months he just ‘mouths you down’ and that’s it, you may have ran into ‘Mr. Smalls’. He’s using his tongue as a distraction, but don’t worry, that oral voodoo will tend to wear off.

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25 Responses to 5 Signs He May Have a Small ‘One’

  1. Anonymous says:

    Great Blog! “The smaller the penis the bigger the emotions.” lol

  2. Ldiva985@aol.com says:

    I swear to God… “His penis is so small it starts to become a vagina.” is the worst most hilarious statement of this century untill you get to “mouths you down”! You are a hilarious a-hole, and a genius. I think the ladies will feel you twice over on this one. I know that there are men that won’t like it but hey you can’t please everyone right? hahahahaha! I’m still laughin’

    • calvin says:

      I’m nice I have a tiny dick and a lot of emotions so that all sounds very accurate.

    • Alex says:

      I have a small penis and do fit most of this list. Remember though, the fact that men put effort into oral sex and relationships can be really good. I’ve had good experiences but yes I’ve had girlfriends who were penetrated by other men or had lesbian experiences while dating me.

  3. Lara says:

    I’ve dated guys with small weiners and guys with big ones. And those attributes can apply to both. If a small dicked guy is all of those, her would be perfect other than the size of his package. But unfortunately you are wrong.

  4. jawn says:

    Haha, oh dear.

  5. dp85 says:

    Well, as long as you know that it works exactly the same with girls and their looks in general, then it’s all good.

  6. Rhandzu says:

    Can’t i be satiafies by a small penis, i mean does it mean i need to leave a good looking man who has it all but a small penis just because of that one shortcoming?

  7. Bryan says:

    I guess this makes sense…i have a little 5″ dick when I’m erect…and I fit all those categories…

  8. J says:

    As a guy with a small penis I guess I should just put a fucking bullet in my head.

  9. Bryan says:

    I am a guy with a “little one” too… 5″ when hard and maybe 3″ when soft…and I fit all these categories…and I’m VERY tall to throw you ladies off even more…I realized I was small after I was cheated on several times…she told me “I want a MAN in my life, not a little boy”. I moved back in with my Mom after that…i don’t date right now…I actually ran into her and her new “hung” guy at a restaurant…embarrassingly enough I was with my Mom…she had a big grin on her face and I knew she was laughing all the way home with her MAN : (

  10. michael says:

    I think this is false. I have always kind of been a relationship guy I am good at oral, I sometimes can be very emotional, ive had girls cheat on me AND I really don’t push for sex ALL the time… sometimes I do….

    with that being said
    I have almost an 8 inch dick that is not bad in thickness either…..
    so I think this is all bs

  11. Sofia says:

    come on! A guy with a small penis isn’t exactly the end of the world (as long as it’s not extremely small)
    I’ve been with guys who had big penises and they were complete jerks and morons, perhaps because they felt so confident
    Honestly I prefer a guy with a smaller one that doesn’t behave like an animal.
    I had enough bad experiences

  12. Bridie says:

    There is nothing worse than a tiny penis, I have had two. One, really hot guy, told me his girlfriends always seem to leave him after sex. (gee, I wonder why?) The next one, was a movie director, super nice, but my god, I could not feel a damn thing. Also, it’s too boyish and that’s dang sick.. I like a new guy and I’m kinda worried as he’s a virgin, he’s 32 and says it’s because he’s Catholic. Well, we shall see :/

  13. Tim says:

    Not sure about the other 3, but as a guy with a tiny one…I can attest to 2 and 5 :)

  14. Molly says:

    One of the most accurate articles I’ve read online, especially the “He’s the Bitch in the Relationship” section. Very rare that you get a woman who tells the truth about it, but it’s fantastic to see.

    I’ve dated a number of men over the years, and a number of your assumptions are just too true. Small dick men are more emotional, and yes, some of them are soooo small that they start to grow into vaginas. It’s a confidence issue that unfortunately stems back to when they were children: “You’re gonna grow into a man. The man is strong, powerful, and the dominant figure in society.” Then, unfortunately, they realize that dominance is relative to other men, so they start getting more and more self-conscious until, eventually, they start acting like women.

    “The bigger the penis, the stronger the control on the household” is absolutely true, and it’s another that deals with confidence. A big dick man has the confidence that enables him to be dominant over you; he knows he’s in charge, and he knows that you’re aware of it. He doesn’t have to oral achieve because he knows that I’m gonna be able to feel him. A small dick man doesn’t know that, and as such he’s basically powerless over you. If the man doesn’t control you, then he’s not a man, and he doesn’t have a penis. And, just as you said, “when there are no penises present, the woman naturally takes the lead.” Brilliant article.

  15. keena6331@att.net says:

    ” You’ll know if he has a really small ‘wang‘, if not only did she cheat on him, but with his best friend! ” YEP everything in this article so true ! LOL

  16. Zach says:

    This is a horrible list of reasons some of these are qualities .doing things w her other then sex means I have a small penis?. just because you have a big dick dosnt mean you have to be one. + there are many other ways for a small dicked man to find good sex with out size queens it’s absolutely ridiculous how this particular fetish has grown to be not only hurtful to average to small males but untrue.

  17. Kathryn says:

    My boyfriend is fortunately an exception to this rule. He is every single one of these things but he does not a have small one, thank God. I mean, I wouldn’t mind if it were smaller but men are SO sensitive about the size of their penises! Seriously, men aren’t even satisfied with being average sized anymore…it’s big or nothing. My bf is above 7 inches and he is still extremely self-conscious about his size. perhaps he’s just very insecure–idk–but it’s so annoying.

  18. Truth Hurts says:

    I am a black man with a small one and this blog stings even more for me because it’s 90% true. I’ve either been through or am going through all these things. Being black and having a small dick is and has been a living hell. Im a 6incher and it’s not thick either which in the mind of women (especially black) is the equivalent of nothing and us small dicked men get treated like nothing. S.D. (small dicked) men have the same experience of stress, embarrassment, shy, sad and shameful experiences. You ARE dehumanized to the point to where you begin to question God’s existence and with some dudes suicidal thoughts. But you left out a few others:

    1. If he is a handsome guy with an unattractive woman or has a long track record of dating ugly women.

    2. All of his ex girlfriends were promiscuous women

    3. He doesn’t care for head and if so he doesn’t want you to use your hands.

    **Bonus** If your gf wants you to do all this over the top four play etc. ALL the time or jumps at the chance for anal.

    I could literally give you a 100 more but you can understand our misery. I went the whole pretending to not care that my dick size was the cause of me being cheated on ruthlessly or the reason a girl has no problem with letting go. It’s as if we were put on this earth to eat pussy, get cheated on, date women who are always “tired” or have a “headache ” when it’s time to get down to business. My experiences with women are the polar opposite of my friends who are blessed who have OPTIONS andCHOICES other than whoever is desperate or using you for money. I will say that me being honest with myself over the years is just to take it and accepts it as “There are people who can walk so I guess I should be more apappreciative. “………….yeah. thats the best that I can do. But it’s been therapeutic reading this and I thank you. It was ridicule but definitely funny and true

  19. Truth Hurts says:

    ……..and one other thing. As a small dicked black man you get tired of all your ex girlfriends wanting to go out of there way to be friends after they left or broke up with you because little dick guys really are great people from being humbled. It is the bane of our existence to have to repeatedly go through the same’ break-up-with-me-1st-and-befriend-me-later-so-we-can talk & laugh while your in your car on the way to your new guy’s house routine. It’s insulting and I can only say that because if a guy didn’t wanna date a girl because he felt her ass was too flat…….but STILL wanted to befriend her after cheating on her with his current gf “big booty judy” than it would be a problem. Also, little dicked men are great listeners. When the guy a girl really wants to be banging doesn’t text because he’s busy she knows she can actually CALL the little dicked guy and he’ll entertain the convo. He HAS too almost. Finally I pray and hope that one day women will learn to not SAY a WORD about how big a small man’s penis is if she hopes to even have him pretend to think that he is giving her pleasure. He might move and groove but if he is a small man and u say how big or how deep you can feel it than he is going to immediately know the jig is up. Thats when the fights really start to be honest because you are disappointed from the nothing you felt during sex and he is saying to himself “here we go with this shit again. I wonder how long this will last?” It’s worse enough women over exaggerate the size of a small one as much as a big one. What I’ve grown to learn is that a woman’s visual measurements are multiplied or subtracted when it comes to the actual measurements of a man’s penis. If he is 6 inches and its skinny then that apparently means “honest to God it was 2.5 inches long and as thick as my finger girl!!!!!” (True Story BtW) and if its 7 or more but fat than that can change to his dick being a third leg. Finally for any of you women out there who wanna weed out the small men before dating them then just talk about how you LOVE big cocks. They will dissappear from that conversation faster than a hooker from church.

    • real n1g says:

      damn bro you really sound like a b1ch grow some balls. Damn shame society turns men like this into females. act like a man you wasnt born a female.

  20. Pete says:

    You should be sure you don’t misinterpret shyness for having a small one. Also I noticed that girls often think if they offer sex to a guy he would directly jump at them. We also have standards and needs, and if we feel we are just there to please then this isn’t really attractive.

    I am what is considered big (not going to say the exact number but it’s in the upper 2%) and I don’t really like when a girl treats me like I am some toy. For that the bragging about my body would have to be really really strong to convince me enough to be just seen as a dick.

  21. Anonymous, surprise surprise says:

    It’s a good thing you wrote “Hey guys this is just for laughs. We all can be loved and desired by someone.” Otherwise the mean and crushing things you wrote would make men feel worse about themselves. Your article is reinforcing harmful stereotypes, namely that women aren’t funny. I’ve met many women who are nice, funny, and have more than a shallow attraction to men and are interested in the actual person they are dating. If you have a size limit that’s fine, just make sure to say something sooner rather than later.

    • Tammy Oh says:

      Although, my intentions aren’t to cause harm to anyones self esteem, I do understand your position. In fact, I have no qualms with writing an article such as “5 ways Size Doesn’t Matter”. Like i said we all are different, and there is love for everyone. So To be announced…

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